Flu hell, coming trips..

Coming out of a wk long bout with a specially horrible flu,
thanks to 24/7 pounding of the brain, joint pains, burnt
face and limbs, constant sweat baths;
the body feels like a train wreck.
Nothing can describe it, its a mini hell. I wonder how
I did not vomit even once though I came pretty close
few times. And guaranteed house arrest is a free bonus.
Luckily my nose wasn't running. The whole world
feels like a pain house.

Anyway, slowly crawling out of it, I feel like a survivor.
But now my tummy seems be trying to come back to life,
and its having trouble holding any food I take.
A small tornado starts to form inside whenever I eat
outside. The chilly fevers are gone, but still feel pretty
run down time to time, and I forgot the thermal today.
So my thighs feel like cold stone, rubbing them
whole day to keep warm.

Seems like a lot happened when I was sick. My brother
went and left Nepal after his short visit there. But I managed
to piss him off y'day by telling him not to come here next wk.
It just concided with my on call.

GF has drawn plans to go to East Europe instead of coming with
me to Nepal, there goes my romantic trip to the Himalayas out
of the window. My own trip is coming closer, I remember her
asking me if I am excited about it, honestly, I am not. Dunno why.
It just feelks like a routine and there is nothing in it, may be it
could have been different if she had came along, just the prospect
of showing the place to someone new is exciting enough. But yeah,
this time around, I am pretty businesslike about it. Its for my
parents who would otherwise be on their own during the Nepalese
fesitivities around the time of my visit.

Cats around the house

I've got a full fleet of cute little cats straying around
the building housing my flat, 6 or 7 of them. There are
around 6 'natives' and 1 guest. Yes, a guest cat, that
comes around chatting to the natives from another
house. The natives are mainly greyish, one even has
a little boot like color on the tip of the toes,giving it a
distinctive marking among the lot. I have named one
'nikhur', meaning dark in Nepalese.
This one is the smallest and cutest, covered in
pure ash grey with green eyes but also looking a bit
more wilder and fiercer; bit haunting, but
sophisticated. The first time I noticed nikhur
was when he or she (I dunno the gender),
trying to hide in a bush under a neighbor bulding. It
was a bit dark after the sunset, he saw me walking past,
towards my place and was trying to hide. Inside the
small bush, but the eyes were shining in the reflection of
the moonlight. Was so cute, I bent down and met her
gaze and stayed laughing for minutes before standing
up and proceeding.

They laze around most day, in the driveways, in the open
space aorund the neighboring building's garage and their
lawn. During rain they can be seen sheltering under the
bushes around the building walls, in winter they are in
any available corner of the lawn or even climb up my
garage roof.

Its special to see their body stretching action, the typical of
cats around the world. Fed by an elderly lady, they come
around and 'hump' their backs at the time of the feeding,
their tails pointing upwards. Its qute a sight. They used to
fear me and run away before, but now they don't, just keep
looking at me whenever I pass by. Sometimes I see one or
two of them in front of my garage door, i normally stop my
car or just turn on the head lights on and aim straight at them.
They don't budge until the car is really near them. Even then,
they would leave reluctantly, I can almost feel them complaining.

The 'guest' one is a blak and white stripe, bit 'Chinese' looking
with a wider face and curved eyes. She normally sits facing the
others. It appears to me like the old ladies in Nepal who go
to others' houses and talk in a similar fashion, spreading the
news from around the neighborhood; complaining, back
biting, advising..socializing. The guest comes to socialize, or
he could be a playboy. I dunno, not sure about this.

These little creatures, always make me smile when I see them.
So it turns out, every time I am in or out of the house, I have to
smile. They make me do it. These shy little bundles of miracle
fill me with curiosity and joy everytime I see them.
Their innocence is a small reflection of a childish God.
Sometimes I question the Darwinian theory of evolution,
these guys have been around humans for zillion of years,
but have never actually 'evolved', and feel good about it.

Broken house dream

I am looking to buy my own place under the sun.
It has't come easy though. Yesterday, the
real estate agent broke my spirits when he said that
the property at Sloop st, Seven hills was 'gone'.
Gone..that's it. Just talked to a friend, he was trying
to keep me up with a positive spin on things. But again,
everything happens for a reason. So hope its just
a matter of time. Seven Hills isn't a top of the list
anyway, so guess its a case of something better
on my way..God willing, really.

God saved

Last wk at home late at night I was preparing to
go to bed after another long crappy day at work.
I was thinking about having to wake up at 6:30
in the morning after about 6 hours
of sleep and strain throught out for next 9 hours
doing something i really did not like, dispatching.
That is dispatching of tickets to colleagues in the
team rather than doing the work yourself.
Well, I shall not disclose too much about my work life,
so I will not go too far.

So, I had had few bouts of chess on chess.com
and as always fuming about my lost chances and
mistakes on the board. I noticed a small reddish
insect flying around, no doubt it was a nasty cockroach.
Instinctively I had to reach out for the baygone
spray I keep under the kitchen cupboard, by the fridge.
I am not a Tibetan, I don't beleive the insect could be
my grand mother reincarnated. So I never had trouble
smashing up any lower beings like the pests and insects.
I just don't give a fuck.
When people tell me not to kill spiders, I just feel how
hypocrytic it all is, like the 'fishterians' who call themselves
vegetarians without an ounce of shame because they
don't eat other forms of meat. Well on my bend to grab
the baygone spray can though I noticed
something that horrified me. A heater ring in my
kitchen was full blown on and red. Switch for one of the
grills was also turned on. I did notice a slight rise of
temperature in the room before, but the way the weather
has been in Sydney, its boiling hot every evening.
This is specially true to my top floor flat. My bedroom
is lot cooler though as it does not get any sun.
So two of the heaters were fully
on, for God knows how long. I was petrified and stared
at the red heater coil for half a minute before proceeding
to kill the insect. Unsatisfied, I even beat it to
death with a broom.

After disposing of it in the rubbish bin, I stood still in
the kitchen for a long time before I could sink into the
feeling of what might have happened if this cockroach
had not appeared suddenly in front of my TV.
A fire would have been most likely. Few days ago I had
got so angry with things going out of whack in daily life
that I had cursed God few times and claimed to myself that
I am becoming more and more atheist. With this incident
however, I could feel him looking down at me
with a sarcastic smile on his face.

On Saturday when I was at a friend's home, him mother
asked me if I killed the cockroach. Now I am feeling bad
I killed it. I should have just thrown it away alive. Not for
the bad karma, just genuine regret over violently taking
life of someone who might have accidentally saved mine.