Trains are definitely a place to listen, whether you like it or not,
to people and their lives. I have had numerous experiences
where I could revel a life right thru my ears, just broken
couple, just broken lives, students in despair and regretting
why they came here in the first place with so many sacrifices,
grandmothers who can't have their grand children to even setup
an alarm in their mobile sets, drugged and drunk people ..
and so forth. Public trains, in spite of the open air,
are free territory where people relax, as if its their drawing
room back home, or the one they don't have so their train
seat becomes the one, its a short term sanctuary where people
actually can find their senses calmed down, breath,
think, cry, sleep and laugh; all without shame, in spite of the
train cars being totally open and in obviously, public view,
yet strangely, very private. Sometimes more private than
your own flat, office, homes and basically everything that
bothers you.
I hate trains technically, in pure technical sense I mean.
I hate to think of my everyday journey thru one of Sydney's
pack commute, crowded platforms, specially in the city,
specially in summer, and specially if the one that stops at
my platform is the old cabbies without A/C. I prefer buses
instead, despite their slower rides and stopping too many stops.
Its much more comfortable than trains, and all of them are
air conditioned, so you don't have to worry about getting your
shirt wet with your sweat when you are going to a meeting.
But, if you want to observe lives in motion, or even enjoy it in its
slightest of form, trains provide with an excellent opportunity,
all for free, well almost, except for an expensive City Rail ticket.
Today I left office an hour early, at 4. Train cars at Wynyard
were nearly half empty, probably because of the hour and
the time of the year, hardly half of people might have returned
from their new year holidays. I was carrying my laptop bag and
had a couple of heavy uni books that a friend had handed back after
she had finished with her semesters, during the afternoon.
Hot steamy day it was, I was mentally preparing myself to head
to gym after reaching home, a long due, I had not hit it for months,
even before I left for my vacation in Asia.
Slumping down, I had noticed a figure in the seat
behind me. A guy, his elbow resting in the window and his
palm holding his chin, obviously in some kind of
distress. Suddenly out of no where, came a blasting cheer to the guy
from behind, clearly one of his buddies, so loud that I had to look
back in complete surprise, as I was drooling over the pages in my
book. I thought to myself, what the heck!
The guys were talking in Hindi. One advantage of being born in a
country that is sandwitched between two of the world's largest and
most populous nations is, you learn their culture, and language.
So without much fuss I have this ominous fortune of understanding
almost all languages spoken in Sydney trains, English, Chinese,
Hindi, Nepalese, scores of other South Asian dialects and some
French and Japanese..this ability is a part of my unbound wealths.
I held back for a while and realized, I am listening to a an Indian
guy comforting his friend, in his language, in Australia.
I am sure this has happened in Chinese before, only that this
time it was really something.
I listened in silence as the new comer friend fired up
straight away addressing his distressed looking friend,
even before seating himself beside the sitting one.
I gather the sad one was somehow mired in some visa problem
for himself or his family. He also was separated from his family
for some time, his friend sounded like he was consoling him
on something serious, something that only a friend could help
with. with nothing but words, but words do move worlds,
situation where you need and want badly to listen to a friend
like this. His words were shooting down my ears like arrows,
but as the topic was interesting, it wasn't too unpleasant
to listen anyway. So I let go of my pages and my antennas were
pointed backwards intently. What the guy said was meaningful,
though it was loud, provocative, and brash, but very confident,
and convincing to the core. He was trying to pull the sad one out of
his misery. He was basically telling him to climb up the well that he
had found himself fallen into. The sad one was mentioning an issue,
that he thinks about it, and then cannot sleep at night.
Something was clearly eating him from inside, and he had no high
hopes of fixing it by himself. His disappointment,
worry and fears were so visible in his words and expression that I
shuddered for a while, I was in similar rot before, feeling desperate,
hopeless and alone. It was scary to listen to him what a mess he is in,
cause it resonates into my own psyche, that this seems a familiar
territory to me as well. Well, no matter how hard we try, sometimes
we cannot stop shedding tears in bed, feel like a lonesome battered
dog left out in street in winter. All the knowledge and philosophy,
all the TV fixations and self help books cannot come to our defense.
We act strong outside, but are crumbling inside.
But often, we forget that we all have this strength within us
and give way to worries, we lose count of how many times we have
pulled ourselves out of the negative , yet get totally smashed up
by smallest of inconvenience and problem. We neglect our own
strength and totally ignore that giant within us, that can fathom
anything, and let ourselves be trampled upon by needless worries.
Like the situation when an artist feels he has lost his ability
to paint, or like a witch who has lost her ability to fly. But
if you can find your own inspiration, of which God has enabled
you with, if you are a painter you can discover your own style
when you thought you had lost your ability or find out that
its the trust in your spirit that acted as the inspiration that enabled
you to fly, if you are a witch.
The guy had this depth of terror in his voice, it just sent chills down
my back, he did seem to be in a really bad and hopeless situation.
But listening to his friend was a complete transformation.
Ok, you have a problem and cannot sleep at night, but the
problem is magnified by yourself, there is nothing you cannot
deal with. He was going on, you have to figure up the worst case
scenario, think what is the worst possible outcome, then think of
alternatives. The need to divert your mind is the best short term
cure. His immediate solution was his offer to watch a movie
together, it could have been anything. Anything that would
take your mindaway from that self destruction zone. He was
jostling with confidence and asking why he had not called him,
they could have sat down together and talked it thru.
To my own embarrassment, I felt this was kind of a
mental bash that I needed myself. God bless, a strong and
positive friend like this is a God sent. Not all of us have such people
around, and we have to be our own best friend, our best support.
Once we have that toughness ourselves, then we become really
self confident, and will not fall back into the holes of despair and
worries, and will be able to help others in need, instead
of feeling crumbling inside ourselves.
Well, I spent half an hour at gym, and stuffed myself with
some fried rice and some chicken back home. I was feeling so
full that I had to drive to the park for a quick stroll hoping
to help digest. Life is basically like weather, isnt't it, specially
like Sydney weather? It was so hot and bright when I came back
home, now its pouring down and cool breeze is soothing Sydney.
