Kathmandu..God, what has happened to you..

Arrived in my birthplace yesterday, at the nick of time for
the latest strike by the transporters - 'chakka jam', wheels stopped.
This time the occasion was the price hike in gas and petrol.
The taxi driver tried the 'Ring road', the main road of the town,
but we were told to stop the vehicle by the protestors. So I
had an oppertunity for a grand tour of gullys of Kathmandu,
same size as those of Japan, only a lot more different view
and experience. No wonder the driver had a perfect chance
to make his share of ponder as well, he charged me a thousand
rupees, 4 times the normal to my home.

There is no point denying hopelessness and desparation in
people's minds, the country is in real shambles, totally unfamiliar
and disarray, much worse than when I left. I wonder how anyone
would be able to hope and dream in a place like this, for those who
are still trying, my utmost salute.

The whole airport is totally disfunctional, there was only one conveyer
belt working when we arrived, for a number of flights that landed
almost one after another. I could see the horror in the eyes of the tourists.
I was lucky to find my luggages, but my suitcase was no more usable
for another trip,the carrying handle and one of the wheels were gone.
None would have lasted the journey anyway given the loads were being thrown
and tossed around like garbage. So I will need to buy a new one.

The whole town is like its been in a dust strom for a century, this
in a place of mountains and lakes! all the roads are potholed and
hardly treadeable for vehicles. People still smile and seem to go
around with their lives, but there is a stinging sense of who-knows-
what's-gonna-happen-next-second kind of desparation.

Incheon,South Korea

Its now about 6 AM, I have just woken up in this ugly, polluted,
dirty town near the South Korean capital International airport.
We landed in Incheon airport last night from Tokyo. Because of
one more over-smart action by my travel mate, we ended up
driving around with a unknown hotel agent half the night here.
We could have easily found a reasonably priced good international
hotel like Westin or Hyatt and I was negotiating, well its morning
already and I hope the Korean appears to take us to the airport
as promised, the flight is at 9:30 this morning. Its about half an
hour drive from here.

Nobody speaks English here, there seems to be no International
phone line in the room.

Japan - day 3- Kyoto

- Shinkansen ride to kyoto
- finally good view of Fuji on the way
- beautiful　temples in town
- hired a cab for whole day and booked room in Miyaki hotel near the train station
- Spend half day in Gion, the ancient preserved Japanese town, beautiful cobbled stoned
streets, pagoda roofs, old architectured houses- a real treat

Japan - day 4 - Monday

- back from kyoto,shinkanshen ( bullet train) ,2hrs to Kyoto.
- straight to Ginza- Akihabari -The electronic superstore
- lunch in a malaysian restaurant in ginza
- back to ginza in the evening
- to the nepalese restaurant - Maya, for the `sukuti`-nepalese dried meat and good chilled japanese beer, good combination.

Tokyo

Fuji..Shinjuku..the rest of the story soon..arrived here last week from Seoul, hectic going around..lots of rain though, city is humongous, way beyond what I imagined..

Motor Show and Momos before flying

Today I headed for the International motor show at the Darling Harbor
convention Hall, that I had been wanting to go since last week.
Ticket of 17 dollars was just about worth it. The new models of
most of the cars were not really outstanding, except for an Skoda
Octavia sedan, that caught my eyes. This was a mid size 2L family car,
but looked stunning both on exterior and interior, and very well
priced. Octavia RS model with 2.0L/147 kw is a head turner.
The rest were pretty ordinalry in fact, Mazda was just above water,
other Japanese models Honda and Toyota were a huge disappointment
to me. Hyundai and Kia had nothing to offer either. Merc and BMW were
naturally the super models, but as you can guess, well beyond
my means. Holden was pretty good though, the newly designed
SUV , Captiva always forced my look on the Sydney roads,
it is pretty nice upclose. Other holden models were very good
looking too. Lots of others were mere presence and did not really
attract me much. I was shocked at the interiors of mighty Jeep,
cheap, plasticky and totally awful. The whole CD/FM/Control
section looked like a cheap TEAC cd player.

Well, this writeup is fast becoming a haphazard, ad hoc memoir
of a first time car buyer, let it be that way then. There should be
lots of others out their who bought their first car only after treading
into wrong side of thirties. Having said that, I bought my Mazda 6
after the very first look, yes, just after looking at it in their showroom
ground. I actually went there with Mazda 3 on my mind. I had been
researching about the stuffs, and was having sort of mildly hard time
deciding between new Toyota Rav4 and Mazda 3, my heart was heavily
in favor of the 3, unfairly. I actually received a call from a Rav4 agent
saying I feel sorry for me because I went for Mazda instead of Toyota.
But yeah, when I find my engine roaring at rock solid 120k in M4,
I feel I made a right decision. One of the reason I bought a new car
instead of much cheaper second hand was because of my near zero
knowledge about cars. Even now the dial is hardly up from ground.
I would not know a thing if it were to have any problem, so I thought
at least with the new one I would be safe for couple of years or so.
With my Mazda 6 I have had no issue so far, touchwood, I am one
fully satisfied customer of the Petersham Mazda.

As I was just about to enter the exhibition hall, I received a
call from my Manager, regarding a staff review stuff that
could not wait till I came back, he was kind enough to ask
me if he could fill it up himself. I think I did not understand
it completely and asked him if I had to fill something by
myself though he would be covering the most of the points,
which would require me to go to office as I have left my work
laptop there. I was just releived I do not have to. I could
hardly hear him clearly against the noise of the exhibition
halls. I actually walked past the ticket check, and the woman
there had to yell at me to stop me and produce my ticket
for her, I guess I even jumped the line, I now remember
that there were people lining up.Too engrossed in mobilel
I was struggling to listen to the other end. I might have
sort of lost my composure there.

If it makes you happy..

..why the hell are yo so sad?

There is a growing concern here in Australia that people are
going in less and less numbers to Churches. The number has been
dwindling every year, and even the Prime Minister had to intervene
something about it trying to incite people to become more
religious in a sense. But so far with no effect. And why would it
have any effect? People have found a new Goddess here,
Goddess of shopping, who in turn reports to Goddess of Capitalism.

I am pondering the state of consumerism I have seen in Australia.
I wonder if this is the epitome, the 'face' of Capitalism.
Everywhere you go, people are rushing to buy things, shops,
department stores, street and hallway vendors are omnipresent.
And their owners and sales people make the whole thing look
like..a religion. Yes, the whole thing looks like an undeclared
religion to me, bigger than Christianity or Islam or Hinduism or
Buddhism. It would crush and win hands down against any smaller
ones, Bahaism, Judaism, Shinto, any cults, Taoism, Confusism, or
non believers.

EVerywhere you go, even in smallest of country towns, highways,
land, ocean, air, desert, there are these huge department stores
that are no less imposing than any real church or temples or
mosque; I call them temples of capitalism.

If you look a bit more closely, you will find that they are
indeed architechted like huge cathederals or churches, the ones
you find in Paris or Vienna or Prague or Moscow. Thier arching
roof decorated with modern day arts, pictures of the saints ( the
supermodels), huge pillars that run from ground up to the roof,
escalators and lifts. Multi storeyed, ever full and brimming
glitch, where people go and worship the goddess of capitalism.
Just go out there, you foolish slaves, fill the stores and buy,
buy, buy! Make the goddess happy.

In other words, make the banks richer, keep the Australian
economy floating.There are banks and financial institutions
who keep on their crusade to lend more, make people buy
more.So they are the preachers and fathers and nuns and so forth.

Its true, Australians buy far more than they can afford, I mean
really far more, they are trying to swallow and chew the whole
animal rather than just the bite they can not swallow. They buy
anything, whether they need it or not, 'stuffs' just have to catch their eyes
when they are passing by or visiting the shops, a shine,
a look, a flashback of a tv commercial or something from movie,
something that gets them into a transfix, a visual uplifting,
any of these superficial high would do.

To imagine that their glance here would make a living for a poor factory
worker in a newly popping up factory somewherein China is
kind of wayward imagination,nevertheless very real.

Buying in shops is just the tip of the icebert actually. Apart
from the Goddess of shopping, you have her sister, the Goddess of
Mortgage.The property market has never been hotter. You might
remeber the latest financial crisis brought about by housing
market crashing in the US. That crisis had ripple effects felt
here as well, because the biggest lenders are the same as those
in the states. So there is more to just traditional one race one
blood relation with the Americans. The people are taking loans
that are fives of times more than their annual income, and keep
on paying the loans till they die. Lots of borrowers default and
the financial law is so strict here that when people go bankrupt,
you are basically finished financially, you are simply 'sunk'.
Banks are so aggressive in their marketing that they will lend
money to even the beggars on the streets, so if you have a small
job, there is no problem getting a multi K(000) loan. Forget the
rates, because on the other hand the housing boom bubble is
continuin to grow and still has air for at least a decade. So you
are safe at least for ten years.

So you will see people buying latest cars, plasma tvs, home
theatres and other luxury like buying vegetables in Chinese market,
because the actual costs are hidden so beautifully, who
would care about the crunch that is bound to come, when the
cash is so near, who would be able to last the temptation?

Or you will easily be persuaded into by the real
estate agent that the price of your property will at least have
ten percent more value a year later. When the apple is so near,
who would not eat it, don't blame adam and eve.

Shopping for Generation Y is the most important, its part of
their existence. Whole lot of different 'rituals' are associated
with it. So looking 'sexy', eating out, binge drinking, dating
and even sniffing ( drugs) are the bi products of the same
tree. These are the small gods and goddesses are children
to the same Mother.

With all the fake riches and glamor brought about by this
mindless consumerism, are people really happy? Hardly so. The
social issues of racism, misplaced multiculturalism ( inspite of
global economic expansion, inspite of China joining the WTO),
drugs, broken families are ever growing and eating the Australian
Society from inside out. All the glitch on the outside has not
been able to bring shines on people's faces. If you go out to
those temples of capitalism, you will hardly notice any happy
face, people seems to be mostly alone and in their own world,
totally shut up. It addiction. Everybody is worried about how
long will thier current job last, how they are going to meet the
mortgage and loans. People seem to have very short tempers and
tust, morality and tolerance towards others is declining fast.
You have to adapt to this world to survive and thrive. You have
to be able to be in the game, but at what cost and where it will
lead you is rarely upto you.

Though on the outself it may seem
you are free and in control of your destiny, if you dig deeper,
you will see who controls your every move, your life and even
your thoughts..well have you decided which shirt to wear
tomorrow? And which pair of pants.. I mean which brand..are you
even thinking by yourself..!! How about the set of pants you
saw on Myers the other day, and the pair of boots on David
Jones, the price slashed watch on the MidCity Centre..
Don't you feel it, can't you sense it..someone holding your mind
hostage, and makingyou dance like his puppet? Free world..the
only thing that is free is the air you breath, and thank god
the govt hasn't taxed it yet.

So next time you see an aussie walking down the streets of
Thamel, you can be sure that his vacation is costing him
at least his month's salary, or even more, and that he planned
this as another trip to the moon. It hasn't come easy to him.

I hate songs of Sheryl Crow, but this one she has really hit it hard..
if it makes u happy, it can't be that bad,
if it makes u happy, then why the hell r u so sad!!

Rendezvous house hunting

So I am going to take a plunge myself, and join the
housing bandwagon, soon. Not sure if this is in line with
the 'Australian Dream', but after buying my car similarly
on a hefty loan, I am sure this is definitely an 'Australian
bug' that you have to contract.

After living in Sydney for two years, I am finally
looking to buy a house. Years of renting and living in
shared apartments with dirty flatmates and putting up
with their tantrums has finally got a visible light at
the end of the tunnel.

The usual place to start is online, there are a couple
of very good sites for the purpose, realestate.com.au
and domain.com.au . These sites list the advertised
properties in all suburbs in Australia, prices,
pictures and so forth. so rather than having to go to
the realestate office you can select the properties you
want and go for inspection as metioned in the site or
talk to them on phone.I find it quite convenient,
sitting home you can browse and move around house
hunting.

The costs of renting is about 260 dollars a week for a
two bedroom unit in sydney. With the loan for buying a
new house, that could be about a half of weekly
mortgage. So in a way, it does justify that you buy,
rather than rent. But the problem is you end up paying
three times more at the end when you mortgate, at the
current rates ( my bank gave me 7.37 before, now its
gone up to 7.62, thanks to latest rises, and awaiting
another one on christmas).There are some people who
argue you are better off renting till the end.

I looked around some affordable suburbs in the north
west before, in Seven Hills, Kellyville and Dundas. The
houses available are good there, relatively new
townhoses, quiet neighborhood, spacious. But the
problem is the transport. They are just too far away.
They are not well connected by CityRail ( Sydney
trains) and only means would either be slow buses or
driving yourself. And because I work in the City, I
can't drive, because there will be no parking in the
city. Then if you look at places where you can go by
trains, like Westmead, you don't find houses, you only
find units or flats. They are good for investment and
living by yourself, but do not fit in if you are
planning to bring your family here later on. Well,the
normal trade offs of living in big cities.

Distinctly there are no go zones even here, and you
have to listen to real estate agents, friends and
colleagues on the descriptions before you buy. Areas
from Lidcombe and further down west are considered 'bad'
areas, and prices are cheapest there. North Sydney is
exclusive and very highly priced, above a million
dollars for a small house. I have been finding the
prices of two bedroom units in Ashfield, the suburb I
live, is about 280 to 300K. Ashfield is a Chinese
dominated area, very close to the city, only 8 km. But
the problem is all the units are very old ones, at
least 30 years old. I have been to inspections, and
because they all look like they are falling apart, they
have failed to really attract me though it could have
been a good investment rather than go and live in it
myself. I did found a really nice one, refurbished with
large longue and bedrooms, timber floored and so forth,
in Croydon-Ashfield borderline, but the price tag of
400k just set me off.

I received a call from my Bank representative last
evening and I updated him that I would be looking
around when I am back from my holidays, which pushes us
one month behind.

Anyway, here I go, trying to set a foothold in Australia,
trying to 'settle' down a bit. To buy your own house is
a big thing and a life long dream here as well, just like
in Nepal. Because of this, most working Australians are
living lives crushed under heavy loans and mortgages.
Banks never had a better time than this housing boom
going on now. Seems like people here have everything
mortgaged, cars, houses, even vacations and furnitures.
The lust of consumerism is really in full throttle. Is this
capitalism? I wonder, I don't know economics and its
therories that well, but I am not so sure if this madness
of borrowed ownerships has brought people higher sense
of happiness and satisfaction. Having said that, who am
I to be judgemental and blame others, I am doing the same.
Its rather a survival act rather than a sign of properity.
Don't know if the two are related, or one enhances the other.

Some of my friends suggest I rather go back to Melbourne
and live there, they live there. The last time I
was in Melbourne, I really felt its gone a way past
Sydney in looking fabulous. It has always been nicer of
the two, but right now, its just looking really awsome.
But the problem there is lack of good jobs and oppertunities,
spcially if you want a change. And Sydney is much
more 'happening'. So I have decided to keep on living
in sydney for as far as I can see, unless I move to Europe
(which I really want to do given a chance) or back to China
as some of my friends suggest. But for the time being,
lets stick to Sydney.

My Physical

Last monday I had a physical assessment with an instructor
at my gym. This came as an added facility for renewing my
membership for a year.They told me that this was to be
done every six weeks. The gym itself is at the heart of
Burwood and is underground. My previous flat mate
introduced me to this one about a year and a half ago,
the facilities are good, but I haven't been to any other
gym in Sydney.

Well, the instructor turned out to be a young, friendly
bulky fellow . I had to give information on my family
health history, my own health issues is any and so
forth, pretty much similar to any airplane forms or
driving license ones. Also done was the measurements of
my body parts, arms, waist, thighs etc, along with my
blood pressure.

Sadly on this particular day I wasn't feeling hundred
percent. I had sort of caught a minor cold starting the
morning and was feeling tired whole day. When he made
me run the bike on level 7, above my normal level (5)
for ten minutes and then peddle as hard as I can for
about a minute, I was just exhausted. My performance on
weights was not very good subsequently, though he kept
saying I was doing good. But he made me do heavy bench
presses, arms biceps and triceps, thighs and abs, I was
just not able to pick up my normal routine. I would
have done it at slower pace with heavier weights. He aked
how I felt and I replied I was okay, but I wasn't really
feeling that good. Weather suddenly has taken for a chill
and I am feeling not too good, missed my session yesterday,
I will probably go today, start with light bike and some
weights. But not too rigorous.

I will be going to Nepal in a week and I don't want to go there
feeling already flat out or with flabs around my waist and chin.
Fortunately or unfortunately I can gain weight very easily,
and lose the same way.

My Doc's view of Nepal

I had to go and see a doctor last evening.
I had crushed a toe on my right foot when I accidentally
bumped upon the edge of my bed. The pain and severity
of the unwanted kick was excruciating, the flesh teared up
and it hurt like hell. Fortunately the doctor said it wasn't
serious and I have not cracked any toe bone. Dr Chan is a
very sought after one in this particular Ashfield Medical
centre because of his dedication and thorough examinations.
He put some betadine on the little wound and bandaged it up.
I should be on my sandals or slipper tomorrow at office.

During the chit chat while he was treating me, I told him
that I will be on my leave and will be going to see my brother
in Japan. He asked if I would be going to China. He was astounded
when I told him that I had lived there for five years, and I can
speak fluent Mandarin. I told him about my study there and
how I ended up studying in China in a Chinese government scholarship.

But we came short of talking to each other in Chinese,
not even a word. I feel the Chinese here normally don't like
to speak in Mandarin with non Chinese people,
its Australia, English please, Nepalese don't bother though,
you will not fail to hear at least one pair talking in trains,
dept stores or even the street, anywhere in Sydney. We might
number few thousand here, but we are omni present.
These days you will find Nepalese everywhere, biggest dept stores,
shops, taxis, basically any trade.

When our conversation turned on to where I came
from, he immediately recognized the bravery of the Nepalese
soldiers, he said even the Japanese feared them.
Now this caught me for may be tenth time in Sydney alone.
I feel there must be this particular piece of information somewhere
in Australian information on Nepal, nearly everybody who knows
Nepal seems to know of Gurkhas in combination with the fact that
the Japanese feared them, two related things together, but never in
isolation. I told him that I am from a different ethnic group in Nepal,
and not one of the fighters that he heard about. Even I have only
heard about the Gurkha bravery and the Japanese encounter few
times in Nepal, but dunno much about it in details. Was it in Burma??
I know about the Gurkhas in Falkland though, poor Argentinians..
we do have some legacy, though a brutal one, something that
people still remember other than the other eminent topic that
I am going to discuss later in this blog.

After a while while putting the tapes on my wound, he brought up the
subject of the royal massacre. He inevitably asked me if I believed the
crown prince killed everyone. I said lots of people don't believe it. He
even knew about the cause that was said to be behind the motive
for the prince to carry out the murders.

We then discussed about poor conditions in Nepal and the present
policital problems.He asked if the Maoists were backed by China, I
said it was probably the southern neighbor rather than China. He
was really surprised, but immediately recognized that India has
lot to gain from the instability in the country. Well, I thought Nepal
would not be a well known country here. I was wrong. I have met
lots of people who are pretty familar with the recent happenings and
current scenario there. In a world of information overload,
it should not a big surprise anyway.

He did have a somehow cliched, distorted view about youths leaving
the country because of economic hardships. I told him that the issue
is much more complicated than that, people do migrate around even
among the wealthiest nations, like thousands of British coming to
Australia to work each year, another the other way round of Australians
moving overseas. Nepalese in Australia number a mere few thousands
at most, though we started coming here almost twenty years ago.

Don't sweat small stuff my buddy !

"I´m disgusted with my life and myself,
but I´m not unhappy about that" - Hank Moody


To write about your visible, physical experiences is not
that difficult. All you have to do is go thru them, like

different notepad files and copy from your brain's memory

and paste it to the real notepad, on your laptop. I eventry

to sometimes list them, bullet point them, to be precise,

to capture the 'catch phrases', in case i forget themas I go down.
So its just the matter of filling inthe space as you go, cut

and brush here and there,and polish a little bit, there you go,

your next blog is ready. I often visit it myself and them come

back to edit mode to redo them. Just do an still

frame visualization,and jolt them down with words.

Fun. Easy, I can write for hours like that.

But try writing about stuffs that really occupy your mind,

things that are causing hurricanes inside you, something that

has been bothering you for whole week and keeping you awake

at nights, causing you unable to sleep at all, any time, any place,

except on trains! Or try writing about things that are deemed

outright personal, your issues with your spouse, friends and

loved ones. Your frustrations about your career, work,study,

salary, health, your regrets - big or small, mistakes that you

made,things that should not have been done and could have

been easily avoided (and you made the same mistake fortenth

time, even after reminding yourself aboutimportance of

learning from your mistakes)

Easiness stops. Now you are not sure about yourself,

probably negativity will swallow you whole,before you

can make any clear cut thinking pattern about the issue.

You are so overcome by emotions of all kinds,you evaluate

situation at 200 miles an hour, like a supercar race, like ten thunder

storms at once, try to rescue yourself from slipping away, to the

dark holes of negativity, telling yourself for the hundredth time

that you are losing the whole point, that it does noteven matter!

Its nothing, its ridiculous. You remind yourself again and again

and again, you should not be thinking like that.That your life is

fine, finally there has come some moment of peace in your life

without any problem, and you should enjoy this moment as much

as you can. But even when all seems well and calm, something

hurts youfrom inside, could be a very trivial thing, could be a

stingy doubt, or a big stuff like a breach of trust so magnanimous

it has left you speechless.

But yet, can you stop it? The waves never stop.

May be yes, for a moment,then you forget for a while, but the

satan always lurks behind, it actually never leaves you, it only

gets diminished in power for a while, then when you are on your

own again, when you sit down and want to concentrate,it comes

back, with vengeance. Demons, we all live withthat.But the best

and most effective approach in my experience is- basic. Okay,

you are so miffed up by that friend of yours, or that colleague,

you felt so humiliated and hurt, that you want to tear his head off.

Youtrusted someone with your whole innocence, and you got

kicked at the back in return, you feel you have justreceived a

low blow in a practice match that you werehelping out your friend

for the title fight. YOu comeback stunned, petrified, and wondering

why you keep on meeting this kind of low life creatures wherever

you go.What do you do? you go back to your rage, an internal one,

a furnace, where you are burning yourself. Stop it.Let go, its not

worthwhile. If it does not do any goodto you, you are better off without it.

How do you put down those things? Write where? How to you tell

your friend that its not the right way to go, like driving down the

highway with your mind lost somewhere else. You need

concentration, not a lost driver.

Okay imagine your wishes for a while,alternatively,

what do you want to do, wait for your revenge?

Swallow your anger for a while..and wait for a next turn?

and make sure you do not screw up that time? But have you

thought its really worth it? Isn't the other guy just another

sick creature? What good would it do other than satisfy your

hurt ego? To what level of negativity can you allow yourself

to go down to, and what is becoming of you,a devil? You

wanna be that for sure? Come on, you have better things to do!

Your life is beautiful and you know it. Change yourself a bit and

be cautious from now on so that you are not caught off guard,

but do not do down the path of evil and self destruction.
Do not lose the view of whole fun of life.